Dear Hiring Manager,
Did you know I wish I were water? Loose and flowing and completely unaware of the concept of a credit score? Did you know I wish I were grass? Tall and thin and unable to say the wrong thing at a social function and ruminate about it for days? Did you know about the hundreds of tears I’ve shed while editing my resume, over and over and over wondering why doesn’t he like me? What does she have that I don’t?
Dear Hiring Manager,
I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. Have I mentioned that I’m sorry? I wish I were wind, shapeless and faceless and welcome on a sunny day. I wish I were music, because I’d love me so much. I wish I was everything you wanted. I’d stretch into any shape you’d ask of me. I’d do anything to make rent this month.
Dear Hiring Manager,
Was it something I said? I know I don’t always say the right thing. I often say the wrong thing. Just know that I know. I wish I were a Harvard or a NASA or an NPR, because then I could mean something important. I wish I were a ballet dancer again, because then I’d have never lost the spirit that lived in little me.
Dear Hiring Manager,
Did you know I wish I were a secret? Because then I could be kept. Or maybe not, who knows. I know I’m just a number, but I really am trying. Can you see me?
Dear Hiring Manager,
You know, maybe I don’t need you. Maybe I even resent you for making me feel this way. I’m sorry I can’t be water or wind or grass for you, but someone who loves me wouldn’t ask me to. Fine, yeah, I don’t need you and I’m fine without you.
Dear Hiring Manager,
Of course I don’t mean that.
Dear Hiring Manager,
Please, I need you. Don’t go. I’m sorry for what I said. I say things I don’t mean when I’m angry. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you. You’re all I have, really. Are you still there?
Dear Hiring Manager,
Are you still there?
Dear Hiring Manager,
Please.
Dear Hiring Manager,
I’m sorry.
Dear Hiring Manager,
I’m writing to express my interest in the _______ position at _______, as advertised. My knowledge and skills in _______ will make me an effective employee who will positively impact the company.
Dear Hiring Manager,
PLEASE.
Dear Hiring Manager,
I’ve felt like a ghost for so long now, a shell of myself really. Do you know how long I have to keep swimming for? Do you know what else I need to do to float? I wish I were a kite, slicing through sky like butter.
Dear Hiring Manager,
Did you know that I’m $20k in student debt? Hahahaha.
Dear Hiring Manager,
Is there anything else I can do now?
Dear Hiring Manager,
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